Writing a speech for the bride and groom can be a paralyzing adventure, but it is a task that the maid of honor cannot delegate to someone else. No one else has your special relationship to the bride, and the couple trusts you to choose the right words to observe the day.
You will need to rely on your closeness to the bride, your own sense of creativity, an ability to do research for good examples of toasts others have given, and true sentiment about the people you’re honoring.
Writing the Maid of Honor Speech
Start by writing down anecdotes and your feelings about the couple. To keep your relationship in perspective, you might want to consider these questions:
• You should open your toast with an introduction of yourself. How did you meet the couple? If you don’t know either the bride or the groom very well, discuss what qualities the person you actually know was seeking in the other.
• Why did they choose you as maid of honor?
• What are the first five adjectives that come to mind to describe them as individuals?
• What five adjectives describe them as a couple?
• Who was the bride before she met the groom? How have they changed knowing one another?
• How did they meet? How did the bride tell you about him? What words did the bride for use to describe the new man in her life?
• What wisdom have you always tried to hold on to about marriage? Impart that wisdom in your toast.
• Are there any tasteful, but funny stories that will give guests a better idea about the personalities of the bride and groom? Don’t tell stories that might cause friction among family members, be inappropriate for children or humiliate either the bride or the groom.
• What special meaning does the day have for you as the maid of honor? How has your role in this wedding changed your own life?
• Don’t forget your thank-yous, especially to the people who are paying for the wedding.
• Close your toast with a traditional quote, wish, or blessing for the bride and groom.
Additional Tips for Writing the Best Maid of honor Speech
• Avoid talking about former boyfriends or girlfriends, and avoid talking about yourself or your own marriage too much. It is the Bride and Groom’s day and you shouldn’t overshadow the day with your own baggage.
• Resist the temptation to include inside jokes. If most of the room doesn’t get a joke, what’s the point in telling it?
Delivering the Speech
Remember that nervousness is normal, but by following these easy tips, your speech will be remembered more for the words that you share than for the shaking in your hands.
• Speak Loudly. When it is time to deliver your toast, remember that you’ll need to speak loud enough for everyone in the room to hear you and take your time to speak your words clearly. It is especially important for you to be able to project if there is no microphone.
• Minimize Alcohol. Keep your drinking to a minimum to avoid slurring and stumbling over your words. You don’t want to be the most talked about event of the reception because you were raving about Captain Morgan instead of the bride and her handsome groom.
• Be Taken Seriously. You want the Bride and Groom, and their guests, to take you seriously, even though you make a little joke during your toast.
• Make Eye Contact. Take your note cards with you, but use them to help you through your speech. Don’t stare at the note cards the entire time. Make eye contact with the people you are addressing.
• Don’t Give in to Fear. If you tend to get a dry throat when you get nervous, be sure to keep a glass of water near. It is okay, too, to admit to the crowd that you’re nervous. Many in the room will empathize.
• Stand & Deliver. Deliver your toast standing and facing the majority of the crowd. It doesn’t look good to slouch or to try to deliver such an important message while you are sitting before a plate of food.
• Keep It Short. Don’t take too long. Two to five minutes is ample time to hold the audience’s attention and give your toast.